I see her from a distance
My heart skips a beat
I feel so small next to her
She’s an angel from heaven
I want to give her a six leaf clover
To signify my love for her
I recite some pickup artist lines
To impress her and make her love me
Running routines on her is so easy
So that she likes me
She smiles at me
I know I’m making good progress
No more your average frustrated chump
I am now an accomplished seducer.
– A Tuscany Tech original
Hello my readers!
Thanks for the very positive feedback on my last blog post! By the way, I’ll be off for now and will stop blogging for a very short period of time. Just going in to a vacation with the whole family and we are required to be off with our online life! Hahaha. I know this will be a fun Christmas vacation
Why do more men chase after and go for the less than intellectual women around while the intelligent ones are put in as second, third options?
This has been a question that has plagued me for years. I’ve seen tons and tons of intellectually charming women being put aside by men who think that the physically attractive ones are superior. While both types of women are beautiful, attractive, and admirable in their own right, I think the brainier women are getting very little attention and credit in the dating.
Why men don’t date a brainier woman
But why don’t men date the brainier of the female species anyway? I’ve figured out some obvious and some not-too-obvious reasons(you should try this conversation guide form SIBG.com (good stuff)):
- Men feel threatened by intelligent women. Some (maybe most?) men feel emasculated by a woman who is smarter than him. Let’s just call it ego to say the least.
- They stop at the first thing they see. Literally. The first thing that most, if not all, humans notice in another person is how they look like. Unfortunately, some men just get too easily and too quickly hooked to the good things they see that they stick with it and not bother with the less attractive things they see on someone else. Talk about judging by the cover.
- They share the same interests. We can’t really fully blame this, can we? Because intelligent women are mostly cut out from the rest, their interests, levels of understanding and smarts are mostly higher and better than most everyone else’s. And thus, the regular dudes just don’t share the same brainwaves as them.
- Men feel intimidated. Well, anyone would around a much, much smarter person. The problem begins when you, dear man, gets too intimidated to the point of giving up on at least trying to win Ms Brainy only because they feel that she’s a little too out of his league.
But before you back down on at least trying to get her number, or send some drinks her way, here are some reasons why you should actually give it a try and date an intelligent lady:
- They are full of adventurous surprises. Contrary to pop culture belief, smarty women don’t bury their faces in books 24/7. Sure they do spend a great amount of time doing that and other brain-enriching activities but they’re not all that. They have an inclination to a lot of other things that could actually pique your own interest – arts, culture, sports, music. She may even take you on one of her adventures, one that’s unlike any other you’ve ever experienced before!
- They have a lot of things to talk about. Talking to smart women isn’t all about gossip and endless empty flirting. They love talking about things of essence – global issues, current events, popular people – and so talking to them is almost always a promise of tons of interesting topics.
- You can learn a lot from her. So we’ve been told that to be intelligent, we have to surround ourselves with people smarter than us. And instead of making intimidation as an excuse not to go out with her (no matter how sexy you find her), use this nugget of wisdom as a motivation to make you actually want to go out with her – because she’s going to teach you tons of interesting, helpful and relevant stuff.
See previous blog post here.
Have you ever felt small and undeserving and invaluable? Have you ever felt so poor that you thought the bread you were eating came from the dumpster? If not, you probably have not dated a really rich girl; or at least, have not dated a girl who’s makes more money than you.
Spice up your date, here are the tips on what to talk about with a girl you like.
Hey, it’s an ego thing. It comes naturally; as humans, we have yet to fully move on from the mindset that men should have more than a woman, and that the man should provide for the woman. It’s not something that you can easily talk people out of thinking. We are a species that is yet to evolve from that phase in our human history.
Mistakes Men Make
And thus, when a regular, average middle-income earning man meets and dates a woman from a well-off background, things start getting awkward especially for the man. You, gentlemen, would naturally get the awkward polar pulls of having to impress her and of trying to keep yourself from getting broke. And it is this exact same pull that actually pushes most men to make these mistakes when dating richer girls:
- Pretending to be richer than you actually are. So she prefers those sophisticated, personal waiters type of restaurants and couldn’t imagine getting in a cab. And so you rack up your savings, sell your computer ad favorite collectible pair of Jordan’s and talk your boss into letting you drive his Porsche. Seems like a perfect plan, right? She gets what she is used to getting and you sort of get yours. And then what? The thing about lying about your true financial capacity is that you can only take it so far. How long can you afford to pretend to be rich anyway? She will either discover the truth (and get disgusted more by the fact that you lied than that you are sharing a small bedroom with three friends) or you’ll run out of cash or stuff to sell to support your pretense.
- Trying to give her the rich stuff she’s used to getting even when you can hardly afford it. The only difference between this and the first one is that, in this situation you did tell her that you’re a minimum wage guy but you take her to dates that are worth a month’s salary. While she may appreciate your honesty, your savings and your landlord may not.
- Being too proud and defensive of yourself in the situation. Man, not all rich girls are such snubs; some are actually considerate about your sitch and are totally fine with going Dutch. SO instead of racking up your wallet and credit card for her, do accept her share of the bill sometimes. Swallowing pride may choke you but trust me, it won’t kill you.
- Expecting her to pay for everything. Oh, talk about being a parasite. Just because she has more does not mean she can pay for everything and you only contribute on being a fun company. That’s just so wrong.
Please also visit my previous post.
Men, when it comes to dating women – rich, poor, average, alphas – the best secret to success is always to bring out your best self forward. You don’t have to be anyone you’re not, just bring out the best version of yourself that you got.
Meeting women can be ridiculously expensive. Or at least cost you something. It’s not that all women require you to bring gifts of gold and silver to get their attention; the act in itself of having to go out and socialize with the intention of meeting some ladies will require you some budget.
You can’t just go out to the bar without any cash on – what are you going to do, ask for water from the bartender all night and pack some Snickers in your pocket? You can’t just sit in some restaurant and meet with the guys and expect for them to pay for everything you’re having and then get to meet a lady in the process.
But then again, those are not the only two ways to meet women. There are, thankfully, so many beautiful places and ways around you that present you the opportunity to actually meet the ladies without having to spend a dime.
Here are some 5 cheap ways to meet women:
- Walk a dog. Now, I know that this isn’t included in the SIBG guide on fractionation, but trust me, this cheap-but-effective way of meeting women really works! Instead of walking around alone, checking out every lady you see around and looking like a creep, why don’t you go to the park with a dog? No dog? Go do someone a favor and walk their dogs to the park for them. Dogs are a great way to get women’s attention. See, dogs are like babies – they are cute and adorable and women like them. And with a dog, you won’t have to worry about how to start a conversation. This way, you’ve done yourself and a friend a huge favor. *Wink*
- Visit the local farmer’s market. Everyone is now into the local-produce-go-organic lifestyle – especially women. So why don’t you go ahead and scout around for something interesting at your weekend farmer’s market and meet girls in the process? Brush up on your conversation skills by avoiding these topics and stroll down your local organic market. Trust me, you don’t have to have so much money to have fun here – everyone’s giving away samples of their goods. Share some with a lady and you might just win a date.
- Be extra-friendly on Facebook. Online dating need not be fully limited to expensive dating sites. There are tons of sites out there that make for a great place to meet women without you having to spend a single cent. Unless you count the cost of your internet connection bill, the internet is the least expensive way to meet women. Just don’t forget the safety tips and guidelines of using the internet.
- Visit your local landmarks and tourist hotspots. Of course, since we’re talking cheap here, go for the ones that don’t come with tickets and entrance fees. If you’ve read our recent post on the worst places to go out on a date, you’ll remember that your local landmark or hotspot isn’t one of them. There are tons of people in these places and only likely, there are tons of women too! They could be some local just hanging around and appreciating the view, or someone who’s just moved into town, or just taking her visiting friends for a tour. She might even be some very interesting foreigner or tourist waiting to meet the love of her life!
Gentlemen, you don’t have to go poor trying to meet women. You just have to get out there, get your bum off the couch and explore the rest of the world around you!
If you ask any person to name the most crucial parts of any date, 7 out of 10 would probably say “conversations”. You could be the most handsome, most sexy, most dapper guy around her but if you fail in the conversation area, you’d be lucky to even get to drive her home.
See, boring, lame, senseless conversations drive women away like the plague. Your looks are only one thing – sure we could sense a real fashion savvy in you. But personality, brains, character – you cannot measure this with how you walk around in your fancy loafers and how you rock your shirt and tie. We cannot tell how great you are as a person and as a lover just by looking at you.
It’s in our conversations that we can truly test if we would enjoy your company or not. It’s in these conversations that we can judge you better as a guy, as a prospective lover, and as a person in general. It doesn’t matter if you know how to meet women on a nightly basis, but what if your conversations skills are, indeed.. lame?
One of the most important factors in having a great conversation is decided by having an even better conversation topic. And when it comes to conversation topics, these are the 5 topics that you can and should never bring up in a date or else risk losing any second chances at your date for eternity:
The mere mention of an ex automatically signifies – to a woman’s brain – that you have not moved on from your past relationship. It does not even matter whether you’re saying bad or good things about your ex. Only one thing registers in your lady friend’s brain: you talked about your ex. This puts her in an awkward position, and it’s hard for her not to think that you are still in the process of wanting to win your ex back. That’s all-out turn off and bye-bye. You have no room talking with another woman in a romantic setup if you are still clouded with thoughts of your former romance.
We aren’t all cut to be libertines. And no matter how open-minded we have become in this day and age, it makes a woman uncomfortable to talk about sex too soon – especially on the first date! Sex is a topic that is better reserved with friends and lovers. We have no business talking about intimacy – yours or mine – unless I’m comfortable enough with you. It will make you come off as too sexual, too lustful, and totally not worth our time because you’re only after getting into our pants. Perhaps the only acceptable excuse about having sex as a conversation topic on a date is if you’re a sex therapist and that’s what you do for a living.
This is better reserved to lawyers, lawmakers, and politicians. Political talk is never a good foundation for a romantic setup. See, politics is grounded on so many opposing views, on clashes of the radical minds and the conservatives, blah blah blah. This will only trigger arguments – totally not a good way to spruce up a romantic evening!
What, are you on CNN or something?! You’re on a date for crying out loud! You cannot just waste away precious date moments and bottles of wine talking about how the rich of the world are getting so much richer and the poor are buried further down the deepest nooks of poverty! These topics are reserved for coffee with colleagues and beer with friends, but not on a night made to find your lonely heart some company!
Your emotional baggage.
It takes a lot of guts for a man to cry and a lady can appreciate that kind of emotion in a man. But to vent out all your childhood insecurities and daddy issues growing up on a date is not a way to spend a fancy dinner with a lovely young single lady. You’re wasting a perfectly romantic night and you might never get another chance with that woman – what after you’ve whined and cried your way throughout the night? I don’t think so.
All girls are different. But the artistic ones, the ones who fight for artistic freedom and are not afraid to show their whole lifestyles, are slightly different from the rest of the female kind. For some reason, people who have very defined artistic minds have their own way in everything – especially dating.
Imagine Frida – outspoken, strong headed, passionate – most of her counterparts share that same amount of outspokenness and passion in the things that they love and they believe in. And, as was apparent in the movie portrayal, they are a different cut as lovers as well. They are as passionate and great a lover as they are challenging. If you’ve found yourself falling for a girl who wears paint-stained denim jumpers and mismatched socks and spends most of her time in the studio, there are things that you’d have to learn beforehand. Here are the guidelines when dating an artistic girl:
- They are passionate. They are more passionate than most girls around. They take everything they love and believe in with passion. On one hand this is good; because they love when they truly love. On the other hand, take caution in disagreeing with what she believes in because you might tick her off. Respect her passion even when you don’t understand or share the same amount of passion with it.
- They are moody. Artistic minds have very defined emotions. This is where they usually draw inspiration for their creations. Being in love with an artist requires you ample amounts of understanding for their mood swings. There are days when they want to just be simple and quiet and don’t want to go out at all. There are days when they’re the complete opposite. Either way, be there for her no matter what mood she’s in.
- They need space. More often than not, they need time alone. Whether to imagine their next big artwork, or to work on the piece of art, they mostly require time alone. They need to be in their artistic ‘zone’ because too many people and too many things surrounding them distract them from their creative thinking. You can’t expect to go out on constant dates with them. Give her the space she needs even when she’s not asking for it. Or better yet, recommend her a place to go on vacation, say Tuscany!
- Take her to places that she will love and will inspire her. To ensure that your artistic lady enjoys your dates, take her to places that will inspire her art and tap her creative juices. It could be the pub that holds poetry reading on Mondays, the local gallery-slash-café, a date at the beach, or camping in the forest. They are unconventional ladies who do not find the same interests as most other girls.
- Appreciate their artwork. Comment when she asks for it. Encourage when she’s feeling discouraged. And don’t mock her art even when you don’t understand it. Btw, speaking of art, here’s the art and science of picking up women that you should know. You know how passionate she is about it; the last thing you want is draw enmity by mocking something she’s worked hard for.
Hey, it’s Miranda again, back with a vengeance!
I am reminded of my love life back in the University of Naples in the 2000’s when I was studying for my PhD in education, and boy, I had a couple of nightmarish dates with some pretty clueless guys. So I’m going to talk about some of the worst places that you can go on a date. Clueless Guys: take note!
As a sidenote, I’ve started writing my popular guide to Tuscany during my college days based on my experience on some of the worst dates I’ve ever been on… but that’s a different story. LOL
Life can be hard for a guy sometimes, especially when it comes to dating. Even in this modern day and age where women enjoy equal rights with men, society still has double standards. A man is still expected to offer to pay the bill, to pick up, and this – DECIDE WHERE TO GO ON A FIRST DATE.
And if that is not bad enough, you get all the blame if things don’t go right or when you picked the wrong place to take your date to. I read this rather awesome article on SIBG.com and thought I should share it to you, too.
So to compensate for all the hard work that men have to do for a first date, at least for most of the decent men out there, and for all the blame they had to take for bad date location choices, here’s a heads up list of the worst places to take your date to:
- Family Occasions. Going on a date, especially for the first time, is a tense moment for any girl. You hardly know her, she hardly knows you (or at least know each other in a romantic, intimate context). The worst that you can do is to add more pressure by taking her to one of your family gatherings. Don’t make her the unwilling center of attention – that’s just being insensitive. And you cannot simply multitask on this one – you know, catch up with relatives while trying to get to know a girl.
- Clubs and bars. If you are looking for a date with potential outside of the four corners of the bed, if you are looking to get to know more than just a girl’s shirt size or how good she is at ledge or pole dancing, and if you are looking for someone who you can possibly start a meaningful relationship with, then by all means forget about going to the bar for it. JUST. DO. NOT. If you’re dating while on vacation, ask her to bring you to a tourist spot.
- Your place. It’s highly unlikely that a decent, sane woman would want to go for a date at the guy’s home. It’s outright creepy! And even when you don’t have serial rapist/killer tendencies, it’s pretty uncreative and will make you come off as cheap. The only thing worse I could think of is taking the lady to your mom’s place!
- The museum. Surveys say this is one of the worst places to go on dates but I would like to consider real anthropology and history enthusiasts’ feelings. This isn’t so bad if you share that same enthusiasm for ancient displays of the Neanderthal man or the guns used during WWII. But for regular girls who do not have the inclination to such things, maybe skip the museum until much, much later when you guys are in a secure relationship with each other. There’s nothing romantic about it, really, and there’s hardly anything in a museum that could make you look good to her. Although I might change my mind after reading this article.
Where you take your date to has a great impact on whether you’re getting the next date or not. especially when you’re on an online dating site and meeting her for the first time. It’s not enough that you know how to ask a girl out online. So make a wise choice for your date locations and avoid the aforementioned places! Where’s your worst date location anyway?
For a free copy of my guide to Tuscany, click here: it’s a riveting read, I promise!
Some time in your life, you’ll have to be one single guy who has to attend the wedding of a close guy buddy, a cousin, or a brother. There are two ways that you can take this utterly romantic, tear jerking, life changing event as a way to remind yourself of your failure to snag a woman for a great relationship, or take it as the perfect opportunity to meet women.
While I am not saying it is the perfect time to prey on women, the last thing you’d want is to miss out on all the lovely ladies that are a relationship potential. It could also be a good occasion on how to get your ex back into your arms. It’s not every day of your life that you get to be surrounded by happy women dressed to the nines and filled with a heady, romantic atmosphere as in weddings – unless you’re a wedding singer, waiter or wedding coordinator.
hSo while at it, take your chance and meet potential dates. After making sure you know how to get a girl to like you fast, here are some other great tips:
- Ask ahead to be seated at the singles table. While this may be unnecessary if you are best buddies with the groom or the bride and they know you might need the extra boost on the love department (or at least save you from being awkwardly seated with lovers), it is best to let this out early on. The best time would be on the day they ask you to be part of their entourage or hand you out their invite.
- Keep an eye out on everyone who’s at the rehearsal dinner and ask your friend about who’s who and who’s single. Your buddies have been single at some point and they totally understand what you’re trying to achieve. Getting acquainted at the people at the rehearsal will give you an understanding of what (and who) to expect on the day of the wedding.
- Look and smell your best. Again, you don’t wear some fancy bow on a regular basis so at least make the most out of it while you’re at it. Get a clean shave, style your hair to match the fanciness of the suit. And yes, don’t forget to spray on some nice smelling perfume. You want women to notice you for looking and smelling great, not for your sweat patches in the armpits.
- Mingle early on. As soon as the reception starts, go around and make your presence known. And while doing that, please wipe off your creepy stalker guy look. Keep a pleasant, happy smile on your face. The atmosphere of the wedding will make that part easy for you.
- Be witty and funny on your speech. If you are to make a speech, make sure it does not sound like a total jerk. Keep it classy, you’re at the wedding so move on from the merriment of the bachelor’s party.
- Look like the sensitive guy. When you muster the courage to talk to women, talk about the wedding and not yourself. This will make you look like the guy who has feelings – talk about how you know the bride and the groom, the feel of the wedding, and how lovely the wedding is.
- Keep your alcohol levels in check. Nobody wants to be hanging around with the drunken groomsman, but they’d love to talk about you later, mockingly. Remember, everyone will likely get copies of the wedding photos or see it on Facebook. You don’t want to be remembered badly!
If you’re single and don’t know who to bring to a wedding, then make it into an opportunity to meet someone!